#1 Blonde Jokes

anal intercourse: mudslide, back door, Greek way (coitus in ano)
monkey-finger = vaginal or anal digital penetration
ream = (1)forceful intercourse or rape, usually referencing anal rather than vaginal or oral, (2)to take strong advantage of or to hurt someone
take it in the ass = (1)receive anal intercourse, (2)to be taken advantage of
dogging = engaging in sex in a car or other observable location while others watch doggystyle = copulation position with male entering from behind, with female (coitus a tergo or coitus posteriori) or receiving male (coitus in ano) on hands and knees rimming = oral-anal interaction (analingus)

anus: ass/asshole, jaxy, poopchute, pooper, popo, hershey highway, bunghole, bumhole, butthole, garbage dump, dumper, dump truck, male cunt, puckered hole

bisexuality: AC-DC, switch-hit, two-way, both ways or both kinds, swing, either way group sex: orgy, daisy chain, circle jerk, gang bang, group swinging, group grope, rampant party, panties-party (lesbian group), Willie-wacking party (male group)

breasts: bosom, boobs/boobie, bust, bud, ‘cones/silicones or bolt-ons or built-ons (i.e., in reference to surgically augmented breasts), duke or dukes, headlights, hooters, chest, jugs, knobs, knockers, melons, tatas, tit or tittie (particularly referring to the nipple & areola), udders, yabos, nips, pointers or points, wonders (in reference to using a padded/pushup bra — from brandname Wonder Bra), mams Rawhide bra = any push-up bra (from Rawhide television theme: "head ‘em up, move ‘em out")

condom: jocky johnnie, glove, protection, rubber, safety, sheik, trojan, raincoat, party hat, sleeve French letter or French safes

circumcised penis: bald or baldie (because the glans is exposed when an uncircumcised penis becomes erect, thus "bald" can refer to an erection as well)

clitoris: clit, button or love button, chovis, dealybob, man in the boat, tongue candy (as object of cunnilingus), where the action is, female dick or little dick
lallies = legs, particularly attractive legs labia: lips, pussy lips, lady lips, pantie-lips, cunt-lips, honey lips vaginal secretions: quim, lubri-cunt, honey, hot honey or golden honey, pussy dew or cunt dew, wet, being wet, wet & wild, lovin’-juice, cunt juice, sluice labia minora and vestibule/vagina: clam, shell, gash, slit, slot or love-slot, the pink, crack, cleft, pussy, hole, chovis

copulation: shag, fuck, drill, screw, bang, bonk, ball, servicing, lovin’, humping, pumping, diddling, spooning, tupping, sleep with, make whoopie, make love, make it, do it, go at it, get it on, get laid, get some, get the little man wet, get the dick wet, wet the Willie, put the weiner in the bun, make a meat sandwich, dip the stick, party or party-on-down, makin’ bacon (implies overweight status of one or both partners), to dick-dip or dick diving, boffing, roll in the hay, mattress polo, coffee table or pool table lumbago, fusion & fission, slamming (refers primarily to an act of physical performance without love/heart involvment), getting in/into the pink or getting the pink, performing the wifely duty, poking or pickle-poking, get oil changed
score = to obtain sexual favors or intercourse
frig = to obtain orgasm or engage in copulation
twang plums = to arouse or stimulate a male, usually including ejaculation
cranking = (1)copulating or (2)using amphetamines
put out = providing obligatory sexual activity
ex-sex or a rerun roll = copulation with an ex-spouse; there are three basic types:
(1) last-hurrah, which is ending with a bang so to speak;
(2) bad-idea, which proves most unpleasant, and demonstrates once and for all the marriage is over;
(3) out-of-loneliness-and-weakness sex, which is usually motivated by desperation and usually has the effect of reinforcing the depression
sympathy-fuck aka mercy-fuck = sexual activity initiated or motivated by pity rather than by arousal, love, or financial gain (e.g., a wife gives sex only because husband looks sad, or a prostitute doesn’t charge for sex due to feeling sorry for client) to be had = (1)to be taken advantage of, or (2)to be the recipient of copulation, usually the unwilling recipient piece or piece of ass = (1)an event of copulation or (2)a sexually desirable person
boob-fucking = stimulation of penis between pressed-together breasts (coitus inter mammae)

Dominant: the person who directs the scene and issues the commands
Dungeon = a room designed and decorated specifically for SM play. Also known as "play room" (Henkin & Holiday)
Endorphins = A group of endogenous, morphine-like hormones secreted by the brain when the body is under unusual stress, which fit into the brain's optiod receptorsand stimulate them to fire, producing tranquilizing and pain-killing properties thatappear to help induce a sort of euphoria; some people report feeling a state of well-being similar to endorphin euphoria after experiencing intense sensations such as those associated with prolonged flogging. (Henkin & Holiday)
Fetishism = eroticization of objects, behaviors, and/or body parts
Fisting = insertion of hand or large part of hand into rectal, vaginal or oral cavity.
Golden Showers (GS) = playing with urine for erotic purposes
Heavy Play = sophisticated or advanced activities or techniques used for psychological or physical stimulation that require special training for safety reasons, e.g. breath control, cutting, temporary and/or permanent piercing, branding, burning, electroplay: also play that is very intense physically and / or psychologically, as very intense pain, or very intense surrender. (Henkin & Holiday) Humiliation = deliberate ego reduction for consensual erotic purposes, ranging from mild embarrassment to degradation; may be physical and /or psychological. (Henkin & Holiday)
Immobilization = rendering a bottom helpless by completely restricting movement
Infantilism = eroticization of being treated (or treating someone else) as a baby or toddler.
Limits = boundaries of consent as negotiated between partners, including activities in which one person does not wish to participate. (Henkin & Holiday)
Medical = scenes, examinations, procedures, and/or equipment, such as uniforms, enemas, rectal thermometer, catheters, sounds. (Henkin & Holiday)
Mistress= feminine title of respect accorded one who dominates a consenting partner
Mummification = bondage effected by encasing a person in material, so that he is tightly restrained and looks like a mummy.
NT = nipple torture, or intense stimulation of the nipples
Negotiation = conferring and discussing to reach an agreement about what will happen in an SM scene regarding likes, dislikes, limits, health issues, roles, etc.
Restraints = cuffs, usually made of leather, that close around wrists and ankles and also, sometimes, around thighs, waist, etc.
Safe Word = word or gesture previously agreed upon for use by both Tops and bottoms to halt the action in a scene or a relationship.
Sensory Depravation = using blindfolds, gags, ear plugs, hoods, bondage, etc. to reduce information available to one or more senses. (Henkin & Holiday)
Service = doing for another; the bottom for the Top, as an expression of
obedience, respect, submission, devotion, love, etc.
Slave = person who is consensually owned as property of another.
Submission = volitional giving up of control and power: decision that one is not in charge. (Henkin & Holiday)
Submissive = person who gives up power and control in a scene.
Suspension = a form of bondage in which a person is partly or fully raised off the ground.
Toy = equipment used in a SM scene. aka, tool, gear, equipment
Worship = adoring and / or loving a person, a person's body or body part, or a thing in a reverential manner - such as boots. (Henkin & Holiday)
leathers = peek-a-boo leather clothing often worn during B & D activities
handkerchief codes = color codes use to identify sexual play preferences
Bottom = term references (1)female or homosexual male who most prefers to receive sexual intercourse (usually in a submissive and passive way), and/or (2)the passive participant who experiences stimuli during sadomasochistic sex games (also termed the submissive or the masochist). Henkin & Holiday definition is: "umbrella term for the person in the scene who takes the submissive, receptive or masochistic role"
Top = term references (1)female or male who prefers to dominate or control the act of copulation (usually in the thrusting role), and/or (2)the participant who controls stimuli during sadomasochistic sex games (also termed sadist or dominatrix [females only, and usually for hire]).
switch = (1)person who enjoys playing either/both the bottom-masochist role or the top-sadist role, (2)a bisexual person, (3)a small whip used in B&D activities
scat or shit = feces

erect penis: ICBM or missile, stiffie or stiff, bone/boner, horn, shaft, knob, having "hot rocks," hard on, hot and bothered, pole, baldie or bald dick (uncircumcized)

ejaculated semen: spunk, cum/come, cream, pudding, juice, dingleberry juice, love juice, load, jism, jis/jazz, sauce, cum-snot, oyster , slime, man milk, squirt

female homosexual: nellie, pervert, fruit, auntie, sister, lesbian, lezzie or lez, jockey, butch, dyke -

Lipstick lesbians = lesbians who usually wear fashionable clothes and make-up; often considered "ultra-feminine," often referred to as "femmes" - LUG / Lesbian Until Graduation = adolescent lesbianism, usually nonpolitical, motivated most often by either:
• testing/rebellion/experimentation (adolescent differentiation process); or
• seeking a safe way of investigating sexuality ("trying out her carnal wings in a
familiar nest"); i.e., a reaction of avoiding the typically demanding male sexuality
(i.e., until male peers mature into a more co-equal sexuality -- described by GQ as "the time when boys finally learn not to ram their tongues into tomorrow").
Lumberjack lesbians = stereotypical strong/sturdy/buff, preferring to wear
traditionally male clothing (flannel/wool shirts, hiking boots, etc.), short cropped
hair and no make-up. Often quite politically active.
Lesbian Separatists = lesbians who actively campaign against men, feeling they
are warriors in a "battle of the sexes." Reacting to male domination and
oppression, they seek an all-female society which avoids and ignores
men altogether; indeed, some live in female Separatist communes. And some prefer to not be involved in interactive sexual activity at all.
Lavender lesbians = Earth-mothers or hippies; often artists; usually espousing holistic medicine, herbal cures, health foods and/or witchcraft; often refer to deity as goddess and participate in paganistic rituals. Preferring the natural state, they
object to such practices as shaving armpits or legs. (Georgia O’Keefe is
considered to be a favorite artist.)
Hollywood lesbians = originally just Lily Tomlin, but led by the boisterous
spokeswoman Sandra Bernhardt and the ‘70s film Personal Best, lesbianism
become quite romanticized in Hollywood. It was no coincidence that Personal Best star Mariel Hemingway, though not a lesbian, was the same actress who gave the first prime-time television kiss (on an episode of Roseanne, where else).
Music lesbians = The organization Strong Women in Music (SWIM) is not just big stars but includes non-famous members as well. When prominent Music lesbian Melissa Etheridge announced her girlfriend was pregnant, Entertainment Weekly(6 September 1996, p. 8) quipped "that will put an end to the rumor that she’s impotent"
Gertrude Stein lesbians = intellectual lesbians (usually middle-aged or older) whotend to gravitate toward the Arts, serving on civic and university Performing Artscommittees, etc. They usually have a perfect blend of ready wit, political outrage and excellent schooling. "They tend to rule in whatever field they enter."
Jock lesbians = (aka "Jockettes," a derisive term) are women who win at sports,
whether lesbian or not. Favorites include Billy Jean King and Martina Navratilova;
other female-sports sex symbols (circa 1999): Ila Borders, baseball; Mia Hamm, soccer; Martina Hingis, tennis; Marion Jones, track; Nikki McCray, basketball; Anna Kournikova, tennis.
Leather lesbians = lesbians who are into D&S and fetishes; many are dominatrixes.
Boston marriage = (1)a term formerly describing single women living together; nowadays more often refers to (2)a romantic yet asexual long-term lesbian relationship.

heterosexual: straight, conventional, square, vanilla

hymen: cherry, maidenhead, virginity, the proof, the test

male homosexual: fairy, faggot or fag, gay, queer, nellie, swish, homo, pervert, fruit, invert, pansy, princess, queen, sister, flit, nance, auntie, sodomist, granny, disco- dancer, limpwrist, Oscar Wilde reader, Streisand-ticket-holder, Buftie

male receiving (fellacio): hummer, blow job, suck cock, eat a sausage or a hot dog, take to lunch, a hot dog lunch or a sausage lunch, a sticky sweet facial (references ejaculate on face), a swallow sandwich, lipstick on the dipstick
Faggot Fair = (pejorative) gay pride parade/celebration/demonstration/gathering

menstruation: Aunt Sally or Aunt Martha, visit Aunt Sally/Martha, the bleed or the blood, coming around again, cramps, curse, period, monkey-on-my-back, rag or on the rag, that time, time of the month, sickness, not well, the way of women, birthday party, grandma is visiting or visiting grandma, on the pad wagon, tampax-

oral-genital interaction: mouth or mouth job, head or give head, suck, go down, blow, take to lunch, recreational eating, lappin’ & lickin’

oral-genital interaction, female receiving (cunnilingus): muff diving, cunt-lapping or cunt-licking, facing pink, eating pink, pink lunch,in the pink, flying a twat, eat out, eat/dine/dinner at the Y or the Y diner or the cafeteria, licking her lips, munch my carpet, magic carpet ride, frenching, gammahoucher (outdated term) Sixty-Nine (Soixante-Neuf) "69" or the numbers game = simultaneous oral-genital interaction between two people oral-genital interaction,

orgasm (either gender): come, get there, get off, fire off, copping off, score, reach it, make it, finish, climax, peak, large it, peak ejaculation/emission: shoot or shoot his wad, squirt, cream or whipped cream, blastoff, explode, make pudding

particularly large penis: whopper, long-dong, Moby Dick, jumbo elephant, size XXL

penis: Willie, Jimmy, Dick, Peter, John or john-john, banana, cock, dong/schlong, ding-dong, ding-a-ling, drill, dip stick, hose, joy stick, gun, hose, meat, pecker, prick, pud, rod, snorkel, stonker, todger/dodger, tool, unit, wang, wong, weiner, wee wee, Mr. Happy, wanker, Little Louie, Louie-Louie, spout, outdoor plumbing, pony, lumberjack, pickle, cyclops

scrotum: sack, bag (note however that "hose bag" refers to vagina), scrotes

sexually attractive man: babe, beefcake, bod, dude, gigolo, heartbreaker, honcho, honey, hunk, John-John, jumbo (from "Jumbo" the elephant; references large penis), lover, lunch, my guy or my man, rider, rump, roller, snatch, symbolic (from "sex symbol"), starter, stud or stud-muffin, sweetie, tush

sexually attractive woman: babe, baby, bird, bod, chick, date, fox, kitten, mama or big mama, nookie, nymph, panty or panties, piece, skirt, snatch, sweetie, heartbreaker,lover, tush, willie wacker, fly buster, Betty, Mantovani, bimbette, hole, lubrication,kickin’ or hotchin’

syphilis: bad blood, siph, pox, ‘lues (derived from pustules)
crabs = (1)pubic lice, or (2)VD/STD in general

testicles: plums, rocks, stones, dingleberries, balls, nuts, jewels or crown jewels or family jewels, potatoes (as in "meat and potatoes" referring to penis and testicles), cojones (Spanish), peaches, oysters

time menstrual discharge: siff, ziff, the bloody, kotex juice
peaches = (1)vulva, (2)breasts, or (3)testicles
cleft = (1)area between labia majora, (2)cleavage between breasts, (3)cleavage
between male or female buttocks
crack = [1] vagina or [2] buttock cleavage (or, of course, [3] rock cocaine)
snatch = (1)vulva/vagina, (2)copulation or sexual interaction in general, (3)a
sexually attractive man or woman
curvies = female secondary sex characteristics, particularly referencing the rounded outlines of waist, breasts, and buttocks
fanny = female anus and/or buttocks
knickers or knicks = panties (British)
crotchless knicks crotchless panties = underwear with cutouts exposing the genitalia
peek-a-boo bra = bra with cutouts exposing the nipples and areola
playing slits & clits or licks & slits = lesbian or multiple female sexual interaction
lickety-split = (1)quick sexual episode culminating in orgasm, (2)cunnilingus,
(3)lesbian sexual interaction
peach fuzz = pubic hair buttocks and/or including anus: ass, behind, hind end, hinder or hiney, bottom, bum, buns, butt, can bippies, cheeks, fanny (female), keister, popo, rear or rear end, rump, seat or seater or sitters, tush or tushie, mooner, booty, back door

uncircumcised penis: shrouded, capped dick, sheathed, cloaked or using a cloaking device, heathen dick or gentile dick

VD/STDs in general: clasp, dose, old Joe, whites, morning dew, a strain, wages (from "wages of sin") gonorrhea: clap, dose, drip

vulva: down there, beaver, crotch, Y-view, the Y, YMCA, lady-lips, money-maker, yoni, pussy, bush or bushland, tush, concha
pussy = collective name for all female genitalia, more especially vagina
concha (Spanish) = collective name for female external genitalia, especially labia minora and vagina (which at times somewhat resemble a shell/concha)
bush = vulva or vagina, particularly references pubic hair
tush = vulva, more particularly including buttocks and/or anus
Y-front, YMCA, or the Y = female frontal nudity; resembles shape of the letter Y
tail = (1)vulva, (2)male or female buttocks/anus, or (3)copulation
vulva, particularly unshaved: hair or fur pie, furry fanny, bearded clam, fuzzy
beaver vulva, more particularly labia and vagina: box or ball-box, baby-hole or hole, cunt or cunny, honey pot, hose bag, minge, muff, nookie or nuckie, poon tang, pudenda (from pudendum; note, however, that "pud" usually refers to penis), snatch, taco, tuna or tuna-fish or fishie, twat, gash, the pink, pussy, concha female mons pubis: mons, the hump, mound or pussy mound, forest, bushland

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Odd words

kinky = mode of sexual activity which is considered to be either/or (1)very arousing and desirable, or (2)unusual and abnormal. A very idiosyncratically-defined term.
stuffing = inserting objects into vagina or anus
snuffing = sex play which results in death; e.g., a snuff scene involves someone
being killed while involved in [painful or violent] sexual activities
tv or TV = transvestite
cross-dressing = wearing clothing typical of the opposite sex, often clandestinely
drag = wearing clothing and make-up typical of the opposite sex; so as to appear to actually be of the opposite sex
T & A = "Tits and Ass" usually in reference to displays of the female body (e.g.,
strippers or dancers); often references objectified female sexuality in general
ts or TS or T-person = transsexual; the more current terminology is Transgendered.
S & M = Sadistic and Masochistic sexual stimulation (sadomasochism)
B & D = Bondage and Discipline, a type of sadomasochistic sexual interaction
C P = Corporal Punishment, a type of B&D/sadomasochistic sexual interaction
D & S = Dominance and Submission, terms which are preferred to use to reference sadomasochistic sexual interaction
vanilla = (1)conventional sexual relations, (2)any sexual interaction that does not
include sadomasochistic/D&S sexual play
BDSM = A single collection of overlapping initials intended to identify three
components of erotic power play - BD, DS, and SM at once ; also see What do you mean BDSM? Also see excerpts from
sexuality.org, from alt.sex, and alt.sex.bondage FAQs 1, 2, 3
Brown Showers (BS) = using feces (scat) in an erotic context.
C&B or CBT = cock and ball torture; intense stimulation of the male genitals more
often associated with pain, bondage, endurance, etc.
Caning = Use of a cane, a flexible rod. Very intense and leaves more pronounced marks.
Collar = band of leather, metal, cloth, etc. encircling the neck; signifies a bottom role
Consensual = based on mutual agreement; not coerced; one of the three cornerstones
of social SM play: Safe, Sane & Consensual
Dominance = controlling and directing the scene

shitter or crapper = (1)anus or (2)toilet
moon or to "shoot the moon" = expose the buttocks, usually in jest
peds = feet and toes, as sexual objects
Chester or bugger = child molester
sorted = arrangements have been completed
nish = nothing/none/no more
date = an event of prostitution, as in: "Hey sailor, looking for a date?"dibble = a close brush with the authorities/police
kickin’ =wonderful, great
Renton = very short hair style (after protagonist Renton’s haircut in the movie
Trainspotting -- same actor and similar hair style popularized in Star Wars
Phantom Menace); considered sexy
large it = to have a good time, enjoy one’s self, experience orgasm
vada = to look at or closely examine
mental = bizarre, kinky, or out of control (previously meaning undesirable, but increasingly refers to desirability)
nasty = sexual desire or behavior, most often indiscriminate
horny = sexually aroused
naughty = sexual behavior or desire
randy or raunchy = strong sexual desire/arousal and indiscriminate sexual behavior
rampant = indiscriminate near-uncontrolled sexual behavior
rude = sexual desire or behavior which is demanding, inconsiderate and/or
indiscriminate
plumpers = sexually desirable obese persons
Betty Dodson = to masturbate while being observed and/or encouraged (in reference to the famous therapist who conducts group self-stimulation seminars; see her book
pervies = male and female persons interested in indiscriminate sexuality
clergy = [derogatory] persons considered to have sexual hang-ups
punters = [derogatory] persons who observe a stripper, dancer or pornographic
movie (and masturbate while observing, or later)
tea room = a restroom used for hustling and fellacio
trollop = person interested in indiscriminate sexual interaction
tart = person interested in indiscriminate sexual interaction, often for hire
‘ho (whore) or puta = prostitute
slut = person who seeks for and/or participates in indiscriminate sexual behavior, but usually not in reference to being for hire
suck face or smackin’ or mackin’ = deep kissing, French kissing, tongue kissing foreplay: necking, petting, make out, scoring, operating, play around or fool around, dry humping, playing "doctor," get serious, get down to business, get hot or hot & bothered, warm up, pre-game show, taxi for take-off

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